


“Bro, this dick pic is terrible. Let me help.”

by megantheesubbie



Category: Original Work, gonewildaudio - Fandom
Genre: /r/GoneWildAudio, Blow Jobs, Cock Worship, Dick Pics, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gentle Fdom, Mutual Orgasm, Nude Photos, Playful Sex, Riding, Roommates, Screenplay/Script Format, Teasing, cock kisses, cum for me, script offer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:15:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29370660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megantheesubbie/pseuds/megantheesubbie
Summary: [F4M] “Bro, this dick pic is terrible. Let me help.” [Script Offer] [Gentle Fdom] [Roommates To Lovers] [Playful] [Teasing] [Dick Pic Tips] [Know your angles] [Use your hands] [Get hard for me] [Cock Kisses] [Film me sucking your cock] [Blowjob] [Riding] [Wet pussy] [Cum For Me] [Mutual Orgasm]
Kudos: 5





	“Bro, this dick pic is terrible. Let me help.”

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 **Performer overview:** You’re an expert when it comes to dick pics — and your roommate seriously needs help in that department. So, you offer to teach him the subtle art of taking a quality dick pic by providing some friendly, constructive feedback …

** Please feel free to adapt and improv as much as you’d like. The best scripts are the ones where the performer feels natural and comfortable, so you’re free to do whatever you need to make the script feel right for you. **

[] = actions & dialogue cues from your partner/completely optional SFX*  
() = voice/tone direction  
** = emphasis

**** All characters in my scripts are 18+ ****

\- - -

(Muffled, through the door) Alright, I’m coming in!

[door opening]

I’m covering my eyes in case you’re jacking off in here, even though *you* don’t cover *your* eyes when you barge into my room …

(Playfully) Aww, you’re *not* jacking off?

Damn, I was so excited to finally get you back for all those times you’ve walked in one me masturbating … (trailing off)

Uhh … dude, why do you look so sad? And why are you in bed without a shirt on?

… And … are you *sure* you weren’t masturbating?

Because “little buddy” looks like he’s trying to wave at me through those sweatpants.

(Laughing) Oh, I *know* you hate it when I call your dick “little buddy.”

That’s why I will *exclusively* refer to it that way for the rest of our lives.

You can’t just tell me you hate something and expect me to not use that against you!

You should really know me better than that by now.

But, seriously … What the hell is going on?

… Why are you sad about sending a dick pic?! That’s great!

Unless … she did ask for it, right?

(Relieved) Thank god, because there is nothing less arousing than an unsolicited dick pic.

Then what’s the weird pity party about? A girl likes you enough to ask for a picture of dick, which seems like a huge win to me …

… Wait. She never responded?

Well … maybe she got busy? Or … she could’ve fallen asleep early?

[he says she’s been tweeting]

She’s been tweeting the whole time?

… *Big* yikes, bro.

Let me see the photo you sent.

Oh, come on! I just want to see if it was bad enough to warrant ignoring you, or if there’s something else going on.

And if it’s bad, I can help you improve. All dick pics are not created equal, you know …

Oh, but I think *you* think I’m talking about the dicks themselves, or the people with the dicks …

I’m not. I’m talking about the photographic composition of the pictures.

There’s this idea that people want pictures of “the perfect dick,” but that’s ridiculous.

Dick size, or shape, or things like whether you have abs or not … all of that is irrelevant.

I firmly believe that all bodies are beautiful, and all dicks are beautiful … but all dick *pics* are not.

There are so many things that go into realizing your dick’s full, photogenic potential …

Just show me what you sent, and I can look at it objectively and give you some friendly, constructive feedback.

I’m dead serious. I am an *expert* when it comes to dick pics. I used to do critiques all the time in college.

This woman, Madeleine Holden, ran a blog — critique my dick pic — and would charge people for honest feedback on their sexts.

She ran through all the important factors: lighting, setting, angles, the hand placement … ugh, especially the hand placement, that can go such a long way …

And I firmly believed in spreading the gospel, so I started offering critiques, too.

It was kind of like a public service project … At the time, dick pics were abundant but *very* low in quality.

I always went out of my way to be kind in my critiques, and I would never criticize the dick itself … just, you know, the presentation.

It was fun! I helped a lot of people raise their dick pic game substantially, and I haven’t had a chance to use my skills in years.

So please, let me show off this one, insanely-specific, mostly-useless skill and help you.

Pleeeeease?

… If you let me help you, I promise I will never call your dick “little buddy” again.

(Excited) Yes, you’ll do it! I’m sad I’ll have to let go of “little buddy,” but I think it’s a fair trade off.

Alright, hand it over … let’s see what we’re working with here …

[pause while you look at it]

… Oh.

Well … I’m gonna be honest with you, it’s not great.

The first picture you sent, of the boxers … that one’s not half bad.

Dick prints … sorry, pictures where you can see the outline of a dick through clothing … are almost always hotter than straight-up, naked dicks.

A full-blown dick can be a little aggressive, but dick prints have this … inviting quality about them.

You don’t know your angles, and it would’ve been much better if you’d used your hands … but the lighting is nice, and you framed the dick quite well.

And I can see she agreed! She responded positively to the dick print shot, and asked you for more …

But then … and I promised to be objective, so I will just — objectively — say …

(Laughing) Bro, this dick pic is *terrible.*

You sent her what we refer to as “the log.”

“The log” is the most common form of dick pic … and also the least erotic.

It’s an overhead, close-up shot where the dick takes up most of the frame.

There’s no teasing ... no action … nothing at all really sexual about it, besides the fact that it’s a dick.

It’s not offensively bad, it’s just … lazy. Boring.

And *you* are neither lazy nor boring, so your dick pics shouldn’t be, either.

For example, right now I can see the outline of your dick in your gray sweatpants, and that is *way* hotter than this picture …

Actually … if you gripped your dick, this would be an excellent dick pic.

I’ve got your phone, and I’m going to be way better than you at finding the right angles, anyway … what?

I said I would help you, and this is me helping. I’m the expert here, remember? So just do as I say, and …

(As you’re taking pictures) Yes, just like that … turn your hand a little, so your dick really strains against the fabric … there we go, that’s more like it …

Don’t look at me like that. It’s like Drake says — I gotta hit them angles.

Okay, now lay down and let me take a shot from right here, on the edge of the bed …

(Like you’re critiquing a piece of art) The sheets are lightly rumpled, which creates atmosphere … the colors are vibrant, but not overwhelming … and I can get a generous portion of your body in the shot … oh, yes, that’s great.

I am loving your dick from this angle.

Okay, now let’s try … hmm … this is gonna sound weird, but …

I feel like you … might not … be as hard as you were, earlier?

And dick pics should *always* be taken when fully erect, so maybe we should …

Oooh, I just had a great idea. Stroke yourself over your pants, and I’ll record it. Then later, you could turn it into a gif …

… Don’t give me that look. Expert, remember? Trust me, women *love* those kids of gifs … they’re my personal favorite sub-genre of dick pics.

And I’ve already seen your dick, so there’s no point in being bashful now.

(As you’re taking pictures) Thank you for following instructions …

Damn … that is so much hotter than your pictures were …

Alright, now it’s time for the good stuff. Pants off.

Of course I’m sure. Like I said, I’ve already seen your dick, so …

(Fully turned on) … Man, that picture *really* sold you short.

You have a spectacular dick.

That angle wasn’t doing it any favors, but looking at it like this … that poor girl doesn’t know what she’s missing out on.

Alright, let’s get some shots … hey, you can’t just lie there.

I told you, hand placement is very important for dick pics …

Stroke your cock for me.

No, no, not like that!

Remember, you’re not doing this to get off. You’re doing it to arouse a woman.

So tease yourself a little, the way you’d want her to tease you …

Oh, you know *exactly* what I mean.

Hasn’t a girl ever just … lightly ran the tips of her fingers over you, slowly making her way from the base of your cock all the way up to the head …

Then played with you a little … wrapped her fingers around you, just enough to feel your dick start to get hard beneath her hands …

But gently, because she *really* wants to feel you get hard in her mouth … god, there’s nothing like that feeling …

Fuck, I really want to suck your cock right now.

I know we agreed when we moved in together that we wouldn’t complicate this by having sex …

But … we can do this without getting weird, right?

We’re friends, and we’re both mature, responsible adults …

And I just *really* want to give you a blowjob, so … please?

I’m not exactly the begging type, but …

(Relieved) Thank god … No, wait, don’t sit up.

Like I said, I love you at that angle … lay back down.

Here, take your phone so I can climb up onto the bed …

[readjusting sounds]

Mmmm … you know, it’s a shame we didn’t get any good shots of this … lovely, hard cock … without your pants in the way.

It really deserves to be captured accurately ….

Open the camera. We’ll do it right now.

Take a photo of your cock like this, from your point of view … with me on my knees between your legs, wrapping my hands around the base …

Or, even better … I’ll flip my skirt up and bring my face down, arch my back so you can see my ass in the picture …

I could even kiss the head a few times, just to really sell the shot …

(Between kisses) How is that? … Sexy, right? … Told you I could help.

… Switch it to video for me.

I’d love to have a gif of me, staring directly into the camera, as I lick your cock for the very first time …

[licking sound]

God, I love that little noise you just made. Make it again for me …

[licking sound]

Damn, that’s hot.

[wet sounds: blowjob starts]

(Between passes on his dick) Mmmm … I’ve dreamed … of wrapping my lips around this cock … since the moment we met.

You were wearing … those same gray sweatpants … the day I moved in … and I just … couldn’t stop thinking about it …

[he puts his hand on your head]

Oh, no … don’t try to push my head down …

You can pull my hair if you’d like … but remember … I’m the expert here.

So you follow my instructions … you don’t get to set the pace … I do.

[improv short, enthusiastic blowjob — lots of moaning and “mmm”s]

Do you want to cum in my mouth?

Because … if you have a condom … you could cum in my pussy …

[blowjob stops: he sits up and looks for a condom]

(Laughing) Okay, I guess we’re going with the second option …

[readjusting sounds] [sounds of clothes coming off]

I’ll get undressed while you look for one … oh my god, I did *not* realize I was this wet …

Got the condom? Good … Now, lay back down so I can ride you.

[readjusting sounds]

I have been dying to lower myself onto this cock for so long …

[wet sounds: fucking starts, slowly]

[moaning/groaning]

God, that’s good.

Did you know … every time I’ve touched myself since I moved in … this is what I’ve imagined.

You … lying underneath me … while I bounced up on down on your dick … this *perfect* dick …

You fit like you were made for me … and if I lean forward, balance my hands on your chest … I bet you would hit that spot right … (cut off)

[loud moan]

[wet sounds: fucking speeds up]

All those times you walked in on me … using my toys … I kept waiting for you to take the hint … to take *me* …

But I should’ve realized … you needed me … to take the first step …

You needed … some guidance … from an expert …

Are you going to cum for me? Yeah?

Good, because I’m going to cum all over your cock …

But don’t cum until I say.

Remember, you’re following my instructions … we’re going to cum together, okay?

Good …

[dirty talk to orgasm: feel free to improv to orgasm, or follow the suggestions below]

I can’t believe this is happening … I can’t believe we waited this long … We wasted so much time … But we’re gonna make up for that now, aren’t we? … Mmmm, yes … That feels perfect … You feel perfect …

Oh god, I’m going to cum …

Cum for me … Cum with me … Yes, that’s it, cum for me …

[orgasm]

[Afterglow: laughing, panting, catching your breath, whatever feels right]

(Laughing) … So, that happened.

What? Oh, no … When I offered to help, I was *not* expecting this to happen.

All that stuff I said before was true … I really do enjoy critiquing dick pics, and yours *were* terrible …

(Laughing) I was just trying to be a good friend, I swear.

Which reminds me ... we still don’t have a good shot of *you* holding your cock, do we?

Hand me your phone …

Let’s see if we can capture “little buddy” in his full glory, shall we?

\- - -

_This script is an original work of creative fiction, copyrighted by and intellectual property of MeganTheeSubbie. Permission is granted to post fills/adaptations of this work for non-commercial use on Reddit as long as I am properly credited as the writer. For any other uses, including paid or commercial work, **please contact me.** Any work posted behind a paywall or on a video/audio platform with monetized advertising without my consent is in violation of this agreement._

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